Fostering · Parenting · teenagers

Purpose

There have been some challenges in our fostering journey lately.

We have a teen who is desperately wanting freedom and doesn’t want to wait.

They are chaffing under the basic rules and pushing boundaries.

They are vulnerable to the suggestions of others and starving for their peers admiration and acceptance. This has led to some risky behaviours.

There have been some tough conversations and some new restrictions.

They are angry and frustrated and often spouting threats of leaving, never speaking to people again or staying in their room forever. I’m sure when there is some distance from the situation it will be funny.

Right now I am incredibly sad about the choices they have been making and the possible consequences if they continue on the path they’re on. The tension in our house is thick sometimes. It’s not what we want.

We were dealing with full on hostility about some changes this weekend when we had another teen come to stay with us for a night.

I was prepared for things to be tense and unfriendly…

Instead I witnessed the best side of them!

Our teen sat and patiently taught and encouraged the visiting teen through the complexities of a football video game. Cheered the teen on through the learning and then proceeded to play the game for the rest of the evening!

No animosity or anger.

Just a helpful and encouraging individual that we haven’t seen in ages.

Our teen had a purpose and in the midst of fulfilling it … shone!!

I lingered at my computer longer than I needed to just to absorb the pleasant chatter and the incredibly positive interactions happening in front of a video game.

It was peaceful and positive…it was healing and gave me hope.

Perhaps our purpose; providing safety and love for teens affected by trauma, will help them find a way to theirs.

In the midst of the mess

Marny

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