Covid-19 · Fostering · Parenting

Life in 3D

I took for granted so many things a year ago. There was a level of normal that I didn’t even recognize!

Last year at this time we were planning birthday parties for our foster children and talking about court dates and PGO and summer plans with no idea what was coming!

As we approach the anniversary of the first lockdown here in Alberta many people are talking about hitting a wall. We are tired of Covid-19. Tired of pandemic rules and restrictions. Tired of wondering if we’ve done enough, or too much, or the right things! Tired.

I appreciate technology that has allowed me to work from home, connect with family and keep kids doing school. Although it has made so much possible while keeping us isolated, I am tired of life in two dimensions! Meetings on a screen are not the same as meetings in person. I miss the comradery of chatting before the business starts and reading the body language of the people as the meeting goes on! I miss the chats in the car on your way to the event or home from church. I miss all the little things that connected the big things we did.

Christmas 2020 in 2D

I miss people in 3D! With smiles and hugs and enthusiasm for life! Not this cautious, distance wary, navigation of public spaces, peering at the eyes above the mask for recognition.

I recently worked through an 8 hour course that had a lot of information about attachment and what healthy attachment looks like. In the world of foster care this is a big deal, as forming healthy attachments with transplanted children is one of the top priorities for childhood development. Whether you’re forming attachments with a new born or a teenager, Covid-19 has brought a new set of challenges with it.

We have been forced to spend more time at home with each other which may give us more opportunity to build healthy relationships, while at the same time the constant stress of the changes and the unknown future wreaks havoc on our ability to feel safe and secure in those relationships. Which side of the equation you land on really depends on how healthy your emotions and relationships were going in. Some have thrived, others have cratered.

It’s okay to be tired. Your body isn’t wired to maintain the constant level of stress that Covid-19 has imposed. Be honest about where you’re at in this season.

Then look after yourself. Do something that helps you relax and recharge. Then reach out to others and keep looking for ways to connect!

We will get back to life in 3D! Until then, hang in there!

In the midst of the mess


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