Covid-19 · Fostering · Parenting

Change

How do you feel about change? What is your first response when something changes?

Things are changing all around us in the midst of this pandemic. Things we thought would always be the same are suddenly different.

Our home has had quite a few changes in the last little while. Those changes have ranged from having my son move back home and take up space and creating another room in the basement for his fiancee, to changing out the kitchen tap when the old one broke. The physical changes to our living space have produced comments ranging from “Ahh, that kitchen tap is wrong!” to “How long will it take me to change how I close the pantry door!” (Now that it’s rehung and closes easily).

Somehow when we can see the physical difference and voice our thoughts on it we seem to deal with it better. The kids comment their dislike of the change and then quickly adapt.

Other things have also changed. I have gone back to work part time. This means our routines are a bit different. I am not as available in the morning for last minute things as I am getting ready to go myself. And I’m not there waiting right after school to hear about their day. More is asked of others in meal preparation and upkeep of the house. It’s a change to our normal pattern of living.

As we all accept the difference to our routines there is a bit of grumpiness and then it will soon seem normal again.

How we deal with our world in general is now punctuated by “Do you have your mask?”, “Did you wash your hands well?”, “Only one of us can go in…” and so on. Our awareness of how we interact with the world around us has been heightened. The change has been forced upon us and we choose how we respond to it.

Autumn has always been a time of change. The summer ends and all the fall routines start. Kids go back to school, activities begin, and we begin to look towards all the changes that come with a winter season in this country.

Internally things are changing too. Many people are feeling insecure about their employment, finances, relationships or purpose in this tumultuous season we are in. How do we process those changes? Do we ignore the growing anxiety and keep forging forward? Do we collapse in despair and question how we will make it to tomorrow? Or is there somewhere in between the two extremes where we can find our footing?

I have asked a lot of questions in this post… so let me tell you what I know at this point!

Change happens! It always will. Sometimes the changes pile up in every area one on top of the other and it seems overwhelming. We can do this!

The human race has thrived through the centuries by adapting to change. We will continue to do so as the world changes at a faster and faster pace. We need to choose to accept the changes around us and choose to make the inner changes necessary.

We can help ourselves embrace change more readily by teaching ourselves that change is good. Take a different route to work. Order something different on the menu. Sit in different chairs at the supper table. Make ordinary changes often just to keep yourself flexible!

The children of the Other Mother have adapted to so many changes… and now they would like everything to stay the same. I am glad they are happy and content with how their world looks now, but it won’t stay the same. Since they have come into care they have had different case workers and another change is happening. Change doesn’t mean things won’t be good!

There are more changes ahead. We have no idea what comes next in this pandemic. We have no idea what comes next for our Foster Kids. That doesn’t mean we dread the changes. We will choose to wait and trust we will all adapt. As we anticipate the upcoming wedding of my son and his fiancee it will be changes for them, and a big change for us as they move out again! We have enjoyed our busy house and all the changes it entailed. But for their sake we will celebrate the changes that will come our way and support them as they face all the changes of starting their life together!

Change is inevitable! Talk about it! Work through your feelings about it!

We can do this!

In the midst of the (ever changing) mess

Marny

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