I finished a task this week. The task had been on my to do list for ten years! That is a pretty ridiculous time frame for any project. Now to be fair it was never actually written on a piece of paper… that would have made it even more frustrating as everything else on the list got done and it got forwarded to the new list.
You see we put new stairs into our basement when we renovated. We hadn’t decided how we were going to finish the stairs, so they stayed bare wood. At one point I spray painted them a mottled gray to match the slate at the bottom of the stairs (much to my hubby’s horror) but that was wearing off the treads. So with Covid-19 keeping everyone home hubby got the capping on the stairs done and we discussed again whether carpet or vinyl plank was the plan. Then I saw an idea on the internet that involved painting and installing a runner. It was cost effective and also practical because we haul wood into our basement for the wood burning stove all winter and that’s hard on the stairs. The runner would be easy to replace if things got too bad.
So we decided on this plan well over 2 months ago and bought all the supplies and still it sat there.
Doing something new is daunting and I wasn’t sure it would turn out like I wanted it to. So I stalled. Then I tentatively started and painted the first coat… patched the holes and gouges and painted the second coat. I wasn’t happy with the look so I stalled some more. Finally I put it on my calendar and decided it had to get done. I stained over the paint to highlight the wood grain and get more of a barnwood look and it turned out well!
I put carpet runner on my calendar for the next day. It had to be cut to the right width… and I was nervous about getting it on straight. But it is done! Partly because I finally put it on the calendar instead of just on my vague to do list! It is amazing how prioritizing something leads to satisfaction.
As I think about connection I realize that being intentional is what it takes to make it happen. We’ve all done the typical “Hey, nice to see you! We should do coffee!”. We all know it rarely happens. You can intend to connect with someone for ages and it never happens until we put it on the calendar. True connection takes intentional effort and time.
We make choices every day what we will do with our time. Each of us has exactly 24 hours everyday. No one can store it up or sell it off. The things that happen in that day are the things we make a priority… whether we realize it or not.
Building connection with the Other Mother’s children has taken intentional choices on our part to be available, show up mentally and emotionally, not just physically and engage with them. It is far too easy to get into the routine of busyness and find ourselves on automatic pilot. There can be a to do list that really only translates to wishful thinking. Maybe we need to scrap the to do list and put it on the calendar. Be intentional with making time for connection! With your spouse, with your kids, with your friends! What a difference it makes when we actually make time to do the things that matter.
Here are some thoughts on that from Stacey Berger.
Whether it’s tasks or connections with people, we will accomplish more when it is enough of a priority to put it on the calendar. We can choose to connect with the people in our lives or we can keep them on the wishful thinking list. We have chosen to connect with the Other Mother’s kids. We have also chosen to connect with the friends our bio kids bring home. Our desire would be that anyone who enters our home would know that they are seen and heard.
Who do you need to write on the calendar today and choose to connect with?
In the midst of the mess